Internet Alchemy

For breakfast: three fried egg sandwiches, with cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, fried onions and mayonnaise, followed by three chocolate-chip pancakes; a five-egg omelette; three sugar-coated slices of French toast and a bowl of grits a maize-based porridge, washed down with two cups of coffee.

OMG, I’m surprised Michael Phelps doesn’t sink like a stone! I’m thinking I might have a chance in the 2012 Olympics. I have the appropriate diet but am worried that my arms are too short.